Thinking About Freedom in a Relationship?

When you get together, respect for your partner is paramount to a good relationship. Is your husband, wife, friend, or partner belittling you after you tell a story? Do they cut your story short so they can finish the story? That is so annoying, because they are not valuing you as an individual. Look closely for signs that “He’s just not into you”. Do you know what I mean? Does he or she give you a chance to pick the movie or to pick the activity for the day. Will he or she fight you on it , if he or she does not really want to do what you want? After a while it gets tired. Are you all physical, and not a spiritual relationship? If you are too physical in the beginning, your partner may not trust you and also may go on to other pursuits! If they only want a physical relationship, then start thinking about your freedom. That is a danger sign that they really don’t give a hoot about the real you. People have motives in their relationships and those motives can be altruistic or very selfish. If you can find out the motives, and you like them, then stop thinking about freedom.


Teaching Art Was Great!

I was reticent to go into teaching at first, but in my Junior year, after a practicum and Senior student teaching in art education, I realized that my personality was perfect for the job. If you don’t like kids, then it’s not for you! They will tease, cajole and test every fiber of your patience. Especially if you were a “special subject teacher” like I was. The “regular” teachers will too. I was involved in teaching 1200 children art once a week. I was a traveling art teacher for a few of my sixteen years in art. When you go into another teacher’s classroom, it is their domain!
There are special rules that a visiting teacher must follow. Never step on the authority of the classroom teacher. It is very humbling to be a “special”. Some of the children would ask me if art teachers, music teacher, and Physical Ed teachers had gone to college. They’d often ask me if I was a real teacher. After an art/social study lesson on ancient Egypt, my students would tell me that I should be a real teacher and teach social studies. Flattered and yet humbled, I didn’t really know how to take it. Was that a compliment?
After the birth of my fourth child, I received a Masters in Art. It took me twelve years to finish. I was like that bunny that ran across your TV set who just keeps going, and going and going. That’s what it was like.
“Stick to it”. I’d tell my students. “You can do it if you try. Some of us have to try harder, but if you don’t try, you’ll never know if you can do it, or even if you like it.” What if Van Cliburn’s mother never bought a piano? What if Michio Kaku never looked at the stars as a child? You know what I mean?
My art education life was filled with challenges. The art teacher, besides planning and delivering an art program for kindergarten to grade eight, must also be a diplomat throughout the school. There is scenery to be built, decorating the gym for dances and shows, signs for Parent Teacher Organizations, signs for the Principal’s needs for order in the building, helping teachers with bulletin boards, decorating the entire school ‘s windows for changing seasons, judging science fairs, be a guest at child study team meetings to show a particular student’s art, give teacher art workshops, meet with parents, draw circles on the floor for the kindergarten to sit on, pick up classes from assemblies if it is during a teacher’s art class (prep) time, attend assemblies during teacher’s “prep” time, distribute the school’s art supply order, Substitute teach when many teachers were absent. Should I continue? Now do you want to be an art teacher? I had amazing energy, but did get worn out enough to catch the flu a few times during my art career.
When I was pregnant with my fifth and last child, by the way, the Principal called us into his office and told us that they were cutting back on the special subjects and we better have another certification. Well, with five children living on a teacher’s salary, I needed that job! My home-economics friend and I bought the National Teachers’ Exam prep book and studied like fiends. We passed! And I was an art teacher! Amazing! All she did was teach boys and girls to cook and make clothes! Amazing!
She got a job teaching 5th grade and they placed me in the Basic Skills Program since they were conserving money. The Government paid half of my salary. With my masters, I was nearing the top of the pay scale. It saved money for our town. Also, it was easy to place me there since I was starting in November. My son was born on September 15th after I attended the first week of school with a very large belly! I returned to work after a C section and only six weeks maternity leave. Greeting me was my precious new baby boy, four other beautiful children and my stack of material for the four grade levels I’d be teaching. Sleep? What’s that? Don’t expect to sleep when you have a large family and a full time job. All I had to carry now was a handful of books and I taught a few students at a time. I could also wear, “teacher clothes”! Gone were the slacks, smocks and abstract expressionist blouses that had to be tossed at the end of the day! I shared my space with another teacher who kept asking me, “How can you do this after teaching art. Isn’t this hard?” “Well, I have sat daily, checking homework with my own children who are now in high school, and I know the subject matter quite well. Plus, our teaching editions do have the answers, uh, I think I can. I did pass the National Teacher’s Exam after teaching art for sixteen years.” She never said another word about it. I was more than qualified. My new certification was from nursery school to grade eight, so I was covered.
Little did I know how much I was going to love this new job. The best thing was that my job day ended with my childrens’ day. So, in their minds, I could have been home all day. I was there to pick them up at the end of their day. Sweet. Homework with milk and cookies, then some outdoor activity for the children, while I prepared dinner, more homework, nursing, bottles, diapers, diaper bag and stroller, little league, lunches, finally my reading, and then collapsing at 11:30 to do it all again starting at 6am. You can and will get through it because children go through stages. They grow up!!! I think back and cherish every worn out moment!